DEAR DEIDRE: After ten happy years together I’ve discovered that my husband has been leading a double life.
Not only does he have a secret girlfriend, but they’ve trying for a baby through IVF together too.
My heart is shattered and I don’t know where to go from here.
I’m 36 and my husband is 39.
A year ago I was offered a job that meant I’d be travelling a lot for work. While I was initially apprehensive my husband convinced me to accept it.
At the time I assumed he was trying to be supportive, but looking back a part of me wonders if he just wanted to get me out of the way.
I’d be gone for weeks at a time but coming home things were great. He’d tell me how much he missed me and shower me with love and affection.
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Then a week ago out of nowhere, a friend of mine sent me a screenshot of another woman’s Instagram post.
At first, I struggled to believe it, but there was my husband smiling next to another woman in a doctor’s office holding up a photo of an embryo. My heart fell out of my chest.
When I tried to find her profile I realised she had blocked me.
I waited until I returned home to confront him, and without any fight, he admitted to it all and announced he was leaving me.
He said he’d been thinking about it for a while but didn’t know how to tell me.
Since then he’s moved out and started posting all about his new life online.
I can’t understand how I didn’t notice something was amiss. I feel so stupid.
I’m so hurt and confused.
DEIDRE SAYS: Your husband’s actions have been cruel and hurtful.
He knew exactly what he was doing and clearly went to great lengths to hide his duplicity from you for months, if not years.
Don’t beat yourself up for trusting your husband, that after all is the cornerstone of solid relationships.
As hard as this is, take it as a blessing that you now know the truth. Mourn the future you thought you had, and lean on friends and family.
Take good care of your own physical health which will help you heal and cope with this devastating loss.
I’m sending you my support pack, Mend Your Broken Heart, which I hope will help you pick up the pieces and move on.
